Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse,
and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury.
Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you;
reprove a wise man, and he will love you.
Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser;
teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,
and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.
For by me your days will be multiplied,
and years will be added to your life.
If you are wise, you are wise for yourself;
if you scoff, you alone will bear it.
Proverbs 9:7-12
In light of Proverbs 9:7-12, here are some helpful diagnostic questions for assessing if we are on the path of wisdom when responding to correction:
• Which most accurately describes you, love for the rebuke or hatred?
• How do you respond to correction/confrontation? Love or Anger? Is he a friend or an enemy to you?
• Do you listen to it and seek truth in it or get defensive and immediately have a comeback (5 things wrong in the other person)?
• When are corrected do you put out hints that this won’t happen again?
• Do you seem receptive on the outside, but on the inside you are murdering that person?
• Do you automatically think when someone corrects you they are judgmental?
• Do you immediately justify behavior or thoughts when corrected?
• Is there anything in your life that is off limits for people to touch when it comes to correction? (How would you feel if a GG leader or pastor reproving parts of your parenting? Spending? Laziness? Dress? Etc)
• Do you have relationship with anyone that has the freedom to say tough things to you?
• Does anyone in your life have permission to rebuke you?
• Do you love doing the rebuking but hate being rebuked?
• Does this keep you from being in a Growth Group?
• Do you have a false community around you? (Do you surround yourself with people who will never disagree with you? Do you only seek counsel from people who will never disagree with you?)
• Who in this church will you ask to be honest with you and correct you when needed?
• When asked by someone to correct them, will you have the courage to do so or will you let this text further make you a coward?
Resource: As we seek to let the gospel form us into wise people who can receive correction – here is an extremely helpful article on the gospel and correction by Alfred Poirer, “The Cross and Criticism.”